Toxic relationships are hard to spot, especially for people involved in them. Most of the time people don’t know their in one until someone tells them. These kind of relationships can lead to physical and emotional harm, so it’s important to identify and steer clear of them. Here are three signs to determine whether or not your relationship is toxic.
Checks Your Phone
Having your bae’s phone password (and vice versa) isn’t a big deal, but it becomes a problem when your significant other constantly wants to check your phone. They probably won’t say they’re checking it, but they’ll constantly want to look through it, especially when you’re not around. At times they may even confront you about people you’re talking to and maybe even demand that you stop talking to certain friends.
A partner should never have the authority to “keep tabs on you” or tell you who you are and are not allowed to talk to.
Telling You What To Wear
It’s okay for your partner to make a suggestion about your wardrobe if they are truly looking out for you. For example, let’s say it’s cold outside and you decide to wear a skirt. In this case it’s fine for your significant other to “suggest” that you to wear jeans instead to keep you warm. However, it’s never okay for someone to tell you what to wear so you don’t expose “too much skin” or because only they can see you in a certain outfit. You should be allowed to wear whatever you feel comfortable in, and no partner should decide what goes in your wardrobe.
Verbal & Physical Abuse
If you’re being called “stupid, dumb, fat” or any other verbal offenses by the person you’re with you should definitely rethink your relationship. There’s a clear point when a joke becomes an offense so don’t take verbal abuse lightly. Also, if you find yourself constantly fighting with your partner, that’s a huge red flag. Verbal fighting can lead to physical harm at times and that is never okay. If you see your partner even attempt to lay a hand on you and simply try to call it “play fighting,” you should run. Play fighting is never just “playing” and can actually help an abuser pinpoint your physical weaknesses.
Realizing that it’s time to let go of a relationship is difficult, but sometimes it really is for the best. You shouldn’t hold on to someone that is harming you in any way or controlling you. Be with someone that accepts who you are and let’s you live your best, free life.
By Jaqueline Calvillo, Senior, Whitney M. Young Magnet High School
This article is made possible by the support of Chicago Dating Matters Initiative #DatingMattersChi