Have you ever called yourself being friends with someone and then boom, you develop unexpected feelings for them because you guys were either being too touchy-feely or being over flirtatious? If you answered “yes” to this question, nine times out of 10, these unexpected feelings came from you and your “friend” not properly communicating what it is and what it ain’t with each other from the get go.
To keep from sending mixed signals to your “friend” here are a few unofficial rules to keep in mind.
Rule No. 1
The quickest way to send mixed signals to someone is by being too touchy-feely with them. If you’re constantly hugging on someone, holding their hand, or giving “friendly kisses” their going to think that you want them for more than friendship because “friends” don’t do that. If you don’t want your buddy making advances toward you then ease up on the displays of affection.
Rule No. 2
Don’t be too emotional. What I mean is, be careful what you tell people. Casually saying things like “I love you” or “I have feelings for you” can cause confusion. I’m not saying that you should be cold-hearted and not express your emotions, but if you don’t have any intentions on moving forward in a romantic relationship with this friend, then don’t give them the wrong impression. Which brings me in to…
Rule No. 3
Don’t be too flirtatious. A lot of guys out there are guilty of saying things to your girl “friends” like, “How you doing beautiful?” and “Hey, sweetheart.” If you don’t really have any intentions with being with these girls, stop calling them these cutsey names that you would normally reserve for someone like your girlfriend. Ladies, some of y’all do this too so this rule goes for you, too.
It’s important to always tell people what it is and what it ain’t, especially if you might not have the same intentions that they may have for your relationship. If you happen to be in a situation where you like your friend romantically, you should just tell them. But don’t send mixed signals to someone who you don’t see as being your future girlfriend or boyfriend.
By Trinity Bishop, Sophomore, Southern Illinois University
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