It’s breakup season (it being hot outside and all), and yeah, breakups suck to say the least. But when it happens self-care and positive, non-destructive, habits are essential to getting through it. Here are a few tips on how to get through a breakup (without too many breakdowns).
Feel Your Emotions… Then Express Them
This tip is first because it is the most important one before doing anything to start the heart healing process. You have to feel the loss of a relationship, a person you may have thought about having a future with or considered a best friend. You have to go through the grieving process, so allow yourself to feel the anger and sadness. Once that’s done, channel those emotions in healthy ways: positive self-talk, taking a break from social media, taking a spa day, and surrounding yourself with trusted friends (but more on that later). This avoids the potential suppression of emotion that can unintentionally hurt your other relationships.
Keep Yourself Busy
This is a tip that has always helped me; and “busy” does not mean go out searching for the next love of your life. Take a breather from love and get busy with things you’ve held off doing. Reevaluate your goals, dreams, and bucket list items that took a backseat during your relationship. Start a new project, pick up a new hobby, do something that will fuel another part of your brain (and keep you from thinking about your ex). I used the time after my last breakup to fall back in love with photography and spend more time with family. Rediscovering yourself apart from your former significant other is vital to your mental stability.
A Good Support System Is Key
During a relationship we tend to put more stock and time into our significant other than friends. During a breakup, it’s important to revamp and regroup those friendships because oftentimes heartbreak and questioning of “failed” relationships make us feel alone. Even if you vent to your pet for a couple hours and he/she simply cuddles up beside you in return (because pets don’t talk…or so we think) that can make a world of difference. Feelings of loneliness often cloud our thoughts after a breakup, but don’t let it. People are here for you and I know my DM’s are always open.
Summer leads to a lot of… independence so to speak. The key to surviving it all is to build up and help yourself recover the right way. Fall back in love with yourself because if you’re strong on your own and “you lose your other half…you’re never off balance.” Words to live by from the wise mind of Big Sean.
By Patience Hurston
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*This article is made possible by the support of Chicago Dating Matters Initiative. #DatingMattersChi