Now before I get started, know that in my opinion it’s not wrong to date a friend’s ex, especially if you were never very close to begin with. However, there are definitely a few red flags to take into consideration from the said couple’s relationship that could help you save yourself from an agonizing experience. Keep reading to find out what I mean.
*Find out how and why they broke up.
If your friend and their ex break up over something serious then that should be a sign for you to not want to jump into a relationship with the guy/girl you’re interested in. Let’s say the person cheated, or was abusive to your friend. I don’t think anyone is interested in getting in a relationship with someone that has a history of being a mentally or physically abusive. Save yourself the drama and keep it moving.
*How’s your friend taking the breakup?
Breakups can be tough on a person, and both people need time to heal and get over one another, but that time may come later rather than sooner. So if your friend is constantly dwelling on their relationship with their ex, and may even be considering going back, don’t ignore the signs. Give your friend their time to completely withdraw themselves from that person before becoming an item.
*Don’t hide your new relationship from your friend.
It’s best to just be upfront with your friend about your new relationship with their ex. Keeping it on the low makes things seem very suspicious, and may even end up looking like you guys were sneaking around the whole time even if that isn’t the case. If you are going to begin a relationship with your friend’s ex, man up and let them know. It’s best the news come from you sooner than later.
*A long dating history may be problematic.
If your friend and their ex dated for a long time, they are going to have a lot of history. What the former couple had going on might affect your new relationship with the “ex” because your friend could still be dwelling on the past. It could take a good minute for people who have dated for years to get over each other, and in some cases they end up getting back together, or become really close friends. If this happens, their post-relationship might have you feeling a certain kind of way about your new partner and the relationship. I’d suggest staying away from the situation if this may be too much to deal with.
How close are you and your friend?
If you and your friend are really close, he or she probably came to you with a lot of problems within their relationship and you knew a lot of their business. If you value your friendship more than a relationship, you should resist going out with an ex of someone that close to you.
Like I stated before, I don’t think anything is wrong with dating the ex of a friend, but these five tips are something you should consider before deciding to do so.
By DeAnna Baskin, Sophomore, Gwendolyn Brooks