Been gone for a minute, now I’m back with the jump off!
Hey you guys, I know I been missing for a while, life was kicking me hard, but I’m good and I’m here to stay! Promise. So let’s jump right into it. If you follow me on social media ~ @TheStorieStone on all platforms , then you are aware that God made it possible for me to survive an abusive relationship. I’m still coming out the last of the storm and I felt like October being Domestic Violence Awareness month, this was the best time to come and discuss it with all of you. I won’t be long winded, but it has been a long road and I’m in therapy twice a week for it. Everyday I make the choice to smile and I’m so grateful because I chose ME. I chose me over what I thought was love. I chose ME over the financial stability he provided. I chose ME over the family unit I finally got that I never had. I chose ME. It was not easy, but it had to be done.
According to calcasa.org 1 in 3 women are beaten or raped in their lifetime. Those stats are frightening, believe me I know it. But that’s the reality and those are just the numbers that are actually documented. I want you all to understand what an abusive relationship looks like so that you can identify it for yourself or your friends and family. But I also want to make sure that you all are aware that most of this stuff seems normal and it is not. HE/ SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO HIT YOU FOR IT TO BE ABUSE! Mental health is an intense subject and no one wants to have the difficult conversations, but I’ll take that rap. I’d feel like I was doing you all a great disservice if I left you hanging. So here are a few tips to look out for to save yourself from the drama, heartache and process of rebuilding your entire life.
1. Avoid people who think that being “Bi-polar” or “crazy” is cute. It is NOT. That is a real chemical imbalance and it causes people to act outside of themselves.
“Someone who has a problem controlling their anger is a huge red flag when it comes to relationships. According to relationship expert and author Steven Stosny, Ph.D., “Angry and abusive partners tend to be anxious by temperament.”
2. Pay attention to how people handle their anger. Anger is a natural emotion, but when it is met with extreme aggression that is a BURNING red flag. If they feel the need to break or throw things, you are sure to be next to get hurt in their tornado. Move before it comes. TRUST ME.
“If someone lets off steam by punching walls, slamming doors, knocking over lamps, shoving things off tables… that’s a bad sign. For most people, seeing someone let out physical anger can be paralyzing. This is exactly what the abuser wants. In most cases, the person who is punching walls or slamming doors is exerting their power over their partner. They are showing their partner the damage they can do. If someone is prone to slamming doors, avoid them at all costs.”
3. Play fighting, shoving you into walls, throwing things at you, chocking. It is all abuse.
“Not even once. This is one of the most important habits to never ignore. If your partner hits you, slaps you, pinches you, or hurts you in any way, it’s time to back off as quickly and safely as you can. It doesn’t matter if they promise never to do it again.
“Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you,” states Help Guide. If someone has already demonstrated that they are willing to harm you, the relationship has already become abusive. By leaving at the very first sign of physical abuse, you’re avoiding a long road.”
This is just the surface of what I and other women have been subject to. Protect yourselves.
The Storie Will Be Televised