Being in a relationship can be hard, but there are also lot of good memories and feelings that being boo’d up can bring. Some people, however, deliberately bypass all the good that’s going on in their relationship and instead focus on the negative. We’ve all probably met or have dated these kinds of people. They’re called self-sabotagers–people who ruin or “sabotage” their own relationship. What’s sad is that some people may not even know that they fit this description. Here are some signs that you or the person you’re dating is a relationship self-sabotager.
Everything is a problem
If things are going well between you and bae, the relationship self-sabotager will find this happiness too good to be true and start creating problems. Don’t be surprised if he or she comes off as dramatic. They can find a way to turn a small problem into a huge argument.
All problems, no solutions
Relationship self-sabotagers will be the first to point out when their bf/gf does something wrong. When there is a legitimate problem, the self-sabotager will spot it every single time. But what this person doesn’t do is offer a fix. If asked what could be done to right a wrong, you’ll most likely hear crickets. The truth is, they’d much rather wallow in the problem anyway.
Constantly wanting validation
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel loved, but a relationship self-sabotager will constantly want their bf/gf to prove how much they love them. Whether it’s by purchasing him or her something or complimenting them, validation is a must. This constant need for attention can put some serious wear and tear on even the best of relationships, but a relationship self-sabotager won’t understand that.
Living in the past
The person who is forever bringing up an argument from back in the day is a self-sabotager. This dirty deed this is only going to piss the boo off and cause tension in the relationship. The inability to let go of the past will send love walking out the door if the self-sabotager keeps this and any of the above clues up. Do the right thing and enjoy the good in your relationship and let it flourish.
By Veronica Ruiz, Lane Tech, Senior