I’m a junior in high school.
I’m a virgin.
Those two statements have nothing to do with each other because having sex does not depend on your age. Having sex should be determined by your mindset, which is going to change over time, which is why it’s tied into age more often than not. The law ties it into age, parents tie it into age, but it’s very different when it’s going through your mind and you feel in the moment that you’re ready and people’s only reason against it seems to be that you’re not “old enough.” Originally, I remained a virgin because the opportunity had yet to present itself. I was never really one to care for the way that others felt I should be regulating my life. I think most of the time I could trust myself to make the right decisions. The media, and even some of my peers, made sex seem like the answer to all my teenage problems. That’s not to say that I was going to jump at the first open window, but more so that my perspective on sex used to be very naive.
Don’t read this article thinking you’re going to have the same epiphany that I did if you follow in my steps, but read it to understand that things change and that comes with time and experience. Now here’s my secret. The thing that majorly changed my outlook on the birds and the bees was reading the book trilogy 50 Shades of Grey. Weird, right?
You’d think a book about sex would tempt me in the other direction, but nope. That book series made me want to abstain. Yes, I was very intrigued by the plot and details of the series and a lot of it was very appealing, but I knew I wouldn’t have the same experiences as I read in the books if I went seeking them now. High school boys ain’t really on a Christian Grey level, you feel me? And yes, I knew deep down that it was setting unrealistic expectations overall, but I was willing to ignore that thought because I felt that I’d just gained a more valuable lesson: Sex wasn’t something I valued, therefore it could wait. I could read about it and be perfectly content. And who am I to be having sex? My period isn’t even regulated yet. Excuse my overshare but, it’s true.
A lot of me feels that if I would have had sex at my desire, I would have regretted it and I’m glad I waited to allow that outlook to come to light. Mom and dad, if you’re reading this, it’s perfectly normal for teenagers my age to be thinking about sex. It’s perfectly normal for teenagers my age to have sex. What’s not normal though is interrupting a body that’s still growing with foreign things such as a baby and what not. So if you’re not educated or in the circumstance to be fully protected and safe: DO NOT HAVE SEX! That means wearing a condom, that means knowing your partner’s sexual history and risks, that means knowing each other’s boundaries. You have to know your own body and the functions of those alike or different from yours in order to be able to experience your partner fully and properly. This is why I say the longer you wait, the better it will be. You’ll build tension, knowledge, and self-awareness, and in my opinion, those are all very important aspects to having the best and most sensual experience.
By Kelbe Nails, Junior, Whitney Young