Back in 2014 J. Cole had us all singing, “I want a real love, dark-skinned Aunt Viv love/ That Jada and that Will love/ That leave a toothbrush at your crib love.” And finally four years later we understand why Will and Jada are a part of the hierarchy of Black love. On the season two premiere of Facebook’s “Red Table Talk,” Jada Pinkett Smith, her daughter Willow, and mother Adrienne invited the one and only Will Smith to discuss the relationship that we’ve all deemed relationship goals. From the outside certain relationships seem so perfect like Beyoncé and Jay-z, but with the footage of Solange on the elevator, then with the release of “Lemonade” and “4:44,” we are able to see everything is not what it seems. It would be impossible to believe that after over 20 years of marriage that the Smiths have not had their own share of trials and tribulations, while still protecting their image as the ideal Black couple. Will and Jada let us in on some of their keys to a successful love. Here are just a few of the gems they shared:
*Expressing your intentions with someone off back. Will started the discussion off by saying the first time he saw Jada on “A Different World” he knew she was the one for him. He didn’t know how he would get her, but he knew that he wanted her in his life. Often times with dating someone there is usually someone left in the dark about where they stand in someone’s life. We’ve got to learn to be honest with our intentions when involving other people. Even if you have any uncertainties about where a person stands in your life, let them know. Stop telling people what they want to hear, and start telling them what they need to hear—the truth.
*Communicating with your loved one in their love language! You have to be aware of an effective way to communicate with someone. Will expressed how he considered breaking up with Jada because of her cursing towards him in an argument. He explained that it reminded him of the abusive relationship he saw while he was growing up. Jada didn’t quite understand how her cursing reminded him of his past. That was something she was used to. But to effectively communicate with her then-boyfriend she knew she had to adjust the way she expressed herself. If you want to effectively be able to communicate with your partner you have to learn how to communicate with them, in the same sense you have to allow them to adjust the way you communicate.
*Take a walk in their shoes! One way to successfully resolve an issue in any situation is to see the issue from the other person’s point of view. Will expressed how he had a view of what he wanted his family to be like, but it didn’t match what Jada wanted. He bought the big house and assumed Jada was happy with it. He assumed Jada was happy with giving up her acting career to raise their family. He never looked at things from her perspective, he was being very selfish. It wasn’t until Willow came to him and explained that daddy had a picture of a family in his head, but it wasn’t their family, that Will saw the problem. He had to put his needs and wants on the back burner and figure out what Jada’s needs and wants were. You cannot dismiss the way someone else feels, just because you don’t share the same perspectives as them, but if you care about a person you have to respect their point of view.
Be sure to tune in to Facebook for the next episode of “Red Table Talk,” Becoming Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Part 2), next week with your pen and paper!
By Jordan Danae
Instagram & Twitter: @jordaniaa_