The Chicago Bulls: Replacing Hot Sauce, With Not Sauce!


No seriously, why?

The Bulls are making unnecessary “moves” as if we actually have a center outside of Noah. Oh wait. we don’t! Don’t get me wrong now, Joakim is the only sheriff on the court with the big guns; But we all saw what happens when Noah is out with an injury and we need another go-to man (who’s nowhere to be found, because the Bulls have yet to acquire one.)

Now if this was strictly about money and Chicago just wasn’t able to fulfill the monetary demands of each contract, I could’ve definitely given the staff a few trades off the top of my head! I don’t want to name names….but if you’re going to trade a player over money, at least trade the one(s) whose ends DON’T justify the means. You guys are over here resigning players that I would’ve let go with a pink slip and a compensatory Kyle Korver bobble head… and hell, even a LBJ MVP sweatshirt for all I care.

Even though we didn’t make it to the finals this past season, we Bulls fans had faith in the fact that when Rose came back, we could actually give this city a championship. Well now what? I bled red and black not because Chicago is my hometown, not because I’m “Team Derrick Rose” and not because it’s the way of my house as deemed by the Michael Jordan era… but because I fell in love with the players and the chemistry of the team. Whenever we were down in a game, I said, “It’s okay, because we’ve got the Bench Mob.” Not “some” bench mob. Not “a” bench mob. But THE Bench Mob. Well, without Kyle Korver…Guess what. THERE IS NO BENCH MOB PEOPLE! THERE ISN’T ONE… Nice going guys.

What’s a 20 piece without Hot Sauce?! I’ll tell you what it is… not right.

If you’re going to trade the man, did you have to give him over to the “opp”? Like, seriously? Korver was Chicago’s hot sauce, and now you’ve given Atlanta the opportunity to reduce him to mere mild sauce on the bench… now karma says Chicago’s gonna be “KETCHUP”… trying to “catch up” to the scoring ability of other teams!

“Can I get a 20 piece with extra ketchup?” Right. Even the old men too cheap to pay for the mildsauce in the Harold’s on 103rd and Halsted wouldn’t make such a foolish order. Trust me, I know… I just asked my dad and even he said “HELL NAW!” I really hope you people upstairs in the corporate office know what you’re doing… there better be a good trade up someone’s sleeve, that consists of a player that can even come CLOSE to replacing Kover’s consistent clutch 3, good looks, and starting momentum of the Bench Mob.

Bulls fan until the death of me… But c’mon now Bulls. What are ya’ll doing? Ya’ll killing me!


Written by Subria Whitaker

Subria A. Whitaker is a J.D. Candidate at The University of Chicago Law School. She received her bachelor's degree with honors and Distinction in Communication from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and her master's degree in Sports Administration from Northwestern University. Subria became a TrueStar in 2010, and is a graduate of Morgan Park High School.


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