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The Unwritten Rules of the “Talking” Stage


The “talking” stage in relationships, as many people know, is the stage at the beginning of the relationship where you are getting to know the person you are potentially going to date. At this point, you’re basically doing a test run of the relationship to see if it will work out. This is a very tricky time because there are many things that are confusing in terms of what you can and can’t do in this “relationship”.

*Be honest.

Even if you aren’t officially dating, being honest to the person you’re talking to is very important. Chances are if you’re talking to them, you plan to have a relationship with them. Your level of honesty during this stage of the relationship gives your partner an idea of how honest you will be when you actually make things official.

*Setting expectations.

Simple things like calls and texts within a timely fashion are things to be expected in a relationship, but setting your expectations too high can lead to disappointment. Set expectations for the person you talk to but not ones that are too high to the point where you’ll get let down because these expectations aren’t met.

*Get to know them as much as you can.

During this stage, like in the beginning of starting any relationship, getting to know the person you plan to date is important. Take this time to learn as much about this person as you possibly can. You can do this by having actual conversations and spending one-on-one time with him or her.

*Don’t move too fast.

Keep in mind you and this person don’t officially date yet. Taking things slow is the best thing to do in the beginning of a relationship. Moving too fast could lead to someone getting hurt or the bond you and that person share being damaged.

*Don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel.

If the person you’re talking to does things that you don’t like, let them know. Holding things back will cause problems. If something is happening that you don’t agree with, say how you feel when it is happening. Don’t wait until something else occurs to bring it up.

*Even if you don’t officially date, you have to respect that person.

Respect is a key element in any relationship or bond. Without respect, the relationship will go down hill quickly. Lack of regard for others in any relationship won’t end well on either side.

*When does the “talking” stage end and dating begin?

During the “talking” stage, claiming a person is an important milestone. When the time comes that you claim the person you talk to and they claim you as well, this can be a sign that you are officially dating. The relationship can also become official when you and the person you talk to sit down and have a conversation establishing that the relationship is official.

These aren’t necessarily rules that everyone in the “talking” stage are obligated to follow, but they are some things I think are important to keep in mind while in this part of your relationship.

By Cierra Lemott, Sophomore, Brooks College Prep

Instagram: @cece.kodak

Written by Cierra Lemott

I'm a professional procrastinator and my hobbies include sleeping, eating, and Netflix binging.

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