It’s sometimes hard to let people go, especially if it’s someone you shared a real connection with. It isn’t uncommon for people to go back to their ex for this very reason, even when it’s best not to. Don’t get me wrong, there are some cases where it isn’t horrible to get back with your ex, but you should know the difference between these times and the times when you should just let go for good. That’s where I come in. You know I’d never leave y’all hanging and I always come in clutch with the advice. Keep reading to know when you should and shouldn’t take your boo back.
Breakups happen sometimes. It’s inevitable. Right person, wrong time often happens, distance grows between people, people grow apart. Here are a few instances when getting back with your ex isn’t such a terrible thing.
The problems you had are fixable
If the breakup happened because of some small, fixable issues, give it another shot. Maybe it was as simple as a misunderstand. If the issues can be solved, there’s no reason to not try again.
The relationship was healthy on both sides
There was no toxicity or bad blood that came from the ending of the relationship. Sometimes you can find the perfect person at the most imperfect time. Giving it another go when the timing works itself out isn’t a bad idea.
You’re doing it for the right reasons
You may miss your ex, but are you going back to them for the right reasons? Being lonely and bored can sometimes cause desperation and creates the desire to be back with someone. Don’t allow this to cloud your judgment. If you aren’t going back into the relationship because you and your ex have communicated and worked on whatever issues caused the breakup in the first place, it isn’t worth going back.
Call It Quits
Just like there are certain situations that make it okay to go back to your ex, there are ones that should strongly urge you to never go back. Is it okay to still have feelings for that person and miss them? Of course. Feelings don’t just go away overnight, but here are some tips on when to turn away.
It was toxic
We’ve all seen a toxic relationship at some point in our lives. Whether it be us, someone we know, or celebrity couples, it isn’t uncommon to see a toxic relationship that continues due to manipulation, strong love, or just not being able to let go. Look at Cardi B and Offset. They’ve been married for the last three years and have had countless breakups and fallouts reportedly because of Offset’s cheating. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution recently mentioned that Cardi may have filed for divorce just to teach Offset a lesson. Is the couple in a toxic situation? You be the judge.
The trust is gone
If you don’t have trust in a relationship, what do you have? Love can only take you so far. Sure, it is an important part of being with someone, but there are other important parts that have to be a part of the equation. A relationship that lacks trust is a relationship that’s bound to fail. If you can’t build the trust back up, you shouldn’t be with the person.
The problems you had aren’t fixable
If you decide to get back into a relationship with someone knowing that the issues you faced can’t be resolved, you’re putting yourself in the position to ultimately be disappointed or heartbroken again. Don’t do that to yourself. It’s not worth it.
Relationships are never perfect, but you should know when to walk away from them when things begin to get out of hand. Remember to always prioritize yourself and your feelings above anything else when in relationships and do what’s best for you.
By Cierra Lemott, Freshman, Columbia College Chicago
Instagram & Snapchat: @cece.kodak