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“WYD…?” The Problem With Friends With Benefits

We’re not dating, he’s not my boyfriend, and we have no commitment to each other. So, what are we? Today “hooking up” with “no strings attached” is the new relationship status. Friends with benefits, is an agreement to have sex with no strings attached. It seems like a perfect deal or a win-win situation when both people don’t want to get too serious with anyone. Even if the agreement was “no feelings attached,” teens do have them, and according to parentmap.com, “the emotional fallout can be as devastating as any romantic relationship gone awry.” Here are just a few reasons why this could be a dangerous set up.

Once you have sex you cant take it back: You need to find out if the other party is just using you or if he or she actually has feelings. You can determine if they only want to have sex with you if they keep on asking about it. While it’s great when someone appreciates your appearance and how terrific you look, you should want to be loved and adored for your inner qualities, too. According to huffpost.com, men who are sincerely interested in a relationship with you – will compliment you for qualities such as your intelligence, sense of humor and values. Guys who are focused on only having sex with you will tell you how great your hair looks or hot your butt looks in those jeans.

You Are Disposable: At any given time, if you haven’t established what you are to each other, he or she is free to talk to whoever they want with no regard for your feelings. And don’t let the other party really start to like someone new. That’s when things have the possibility to really get ugly.

This is kind of an unwritten rule for this type of “situationship,” but still can be one that’s hard to bear, especially if you find yourself catching feelings. The last question you want to hear is, “Why you mad?”

Pause From The Peer Pressure: Just because others around you are engaging in this type of situationship, doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. Some teens, choose not to have sex before marriage and that is there decision. Just be mindful of what you are getting into if you decide to follow the crowd instead of your heart. In the end you might not benefit at all.

Before entering into a situation where your self-worth comes into play or engaging with guys or girls just because of others around are doing so, take a moment and reflect. Ask yourself, “Is something I truly want?” The important thing is that you both respect each other and the boundaries of the relationship.

 

By Destini Davis, Sophomore,  T.F. South

Instagram: @_royalty.destini

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Written by TrueStar Staff

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