Kori Barnes 
As you begin to grow and evolve throughout the years, not everyone can come with you.
I’ve always thought of this as an interesting topic, but as you mature you’ll begin to witness it more than ever. Friendship is supposed to be sacred, this is without a question. Everyone has their own category in people’s lives which range from outsiders, acquaintances, friends, best friends, families, soul mates, and more. However, I’ve always loved that a singular friend can be a combination of so many loved qualities and make a positive impact in your life. Of course there’s a positive to having friends, but the difference is quantity vs quality.
Is there really any easy way to deal with losing friends? I wouldn’t say it comes easy because those relationships are just as important as anything romantic – which can also feel like a breakup in its own sense. But, sometimes friendships run their course or additional contributing factors may have led to its demise. However, everything really boils down to perspective and maturity when dealing with these types of experiences. Sometimes the friendships are salvageable, but in other instances maybe it just boils down to outgrowing each other or not being able to move past certain factors.
Jonyea Gittens, 19, expressed her sentiments regarding a long-term friendship ending and the emotions on how to cope. “You know, it was pretty hard at first dealing with our friendship ending. We were extremely close and I was betrayed by her,” she said. “She didn’t have my back the way she did her other friends and when I spoke up about it — everything went up into flames. At first I thought we might be able to get past it until she doubled down on the favoritism. If she could do that after the entire time we’ve been friends, I knew it was right to let her go,” Gittens said.
Not all friendships have to end dramatically, some have their own lessons and acceptance of maturing out of who you once were. Brandy Willow, 21, spoke on growing apart throughout the end of high school and transitioning into college with a few of her close friends.
“I never thought it would happen until it did. High school is completely different when it comes to friendships since you see them all the time, but when you’re in college it takes more effort to stay connected if you’re not with them daily,” Willow expressed. “I’m always rooting for my friends’ success; that will never change no matter how much we’ve grown apart. I try to look at this as a stepping stone for the future.”
I’ve come across a popular quote “you haven’t met everyone yet that will love you” and it always brings a sense of comfort. Imagine after all the friendships, growing apart, moving on, and more that you may have experienced, there is still another side that is awaiting for more laughter and relationships. I always think it’s important to reflect on what a friendship or person may have taught you while their season was prominent in your life, but don’t dwell too long on the things you can’t change. You never know, you could find each other again or need time apart to come back together again. All relationships are work, regardless if it’s romantic or platonic.
By Kori Barnes, University of Southern California
Instagram: @korixnicole
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