The Unwritten Rules of the Talking Stage: UPDATED


Y’all gave a huge reaction to part one of the “Unwritten Rules of the Talking Stage” a while ago, so we’re back for another one! This time, I’m writing with more experience and knowledge under my belt so I can guide y’all through this topic a little better. Ready to hop straight into it? Here are the Unwritten Rules of the Talking Stage, the updated version!

Set Boundaries (and Respect Boundaries)

Setting and standing on boundaries are very important in all relationships, especially romantic ones. When you set boundaries, you’re telling the person you’re talking to (and potentially going to date) the ways in which you’ll accept being treated and what you won’t accept.

Know Your Worth

In any relationship, whether it be romantic or otherwise, you need to know your worth. Don’t allow people to mistreat you and misvalue you because you are worthy of the best treatment. Always remember, what one person won’t do, another will. Never settle for less. Know your worth then add tax.

Understand Your Role/Position 

Even though the talking stage may lead to an actual relationship, you need to understand your position in the other person’s life during the talking stage. The person you are interested in isn’t obligated to treat you like a partner. As a matter of fact, they don’t have to do anything that a partner would normally do.

Know When To Take That L 

Realistically, every talking stage isn’t going to lead to a relationship. Understanding this in the door is going to spare you lots of disappointment and heartbreak. Knowing when to take that L and move on is equally important. There’s no point in staying in a situation that isn’t working out for whatever reason.

Don’t Go Ghost; Communicate 

Sometimes things don’t work the way we expect and there is no relationship that stems from the talking stage. If for whatever reason you don’t want to continue toward a relationship, communicate that. It may hurt the other person’s feelings, but it’ll hurt them a lot less than completely ghosting them with no explanation. Think about how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot.

The talking stage has a different result for everyone. What may work for you may not work for others. The biggest thing that should be taken away is that you deserve to be treated good by whoever you’re “talking” to or dating and you should treat them good as well.

What are some of your unwritten rules when it comes to the talking stage? Hit me up and let me know.


By Cierra Lemott, Senior, Columbia College Chicago

Instagram: @cece.kodak / @kodakscamera

Twitter: @LemottCierra


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Written by Cierra Lemott

I'm a professional procrastinator and my hobbies include sleeping, eating, and Netflix binging.

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