TrueStar Staff 
This week True Star presented an exclusive Dating Matters discussion on IG Live. Hosted by Chicago singer and True Star staff member Lyric (@just.lyric on IG), she brought on many guests to talk about dating and relationships. Here are some of the highlights.
How To Set Boundaries
Lyric discussed the necessity of setting boundaries, having time apart, and the benefits of blocking someone with True Star staffer Ivan Lobato.
“Setting boundaries isn’t a bad thing, it doesn’t make you a bad person,” Lobato said. Later he added,”…it doesn’t make you a cocky person it makes you know your worth. You are worth something.”
Having personal space in relationships, especially when there was conflict, is another part of healthy boundaries they spoke about. It allows you to come to your partner and express when you don’t like something they’ve done or said. Having space or time of your own also allows you to take time away from your partner to figure out what you want to do.
As Lyric said, “…I need my time to get over the situation. It’s not like ‘I need my time to go talk to other people or get uninterested in you…people just need time to heal from things.”
“It’s good to have time apart, then you can come back together and be better together,” said Lobato.
When a question was posed by a viewer on how to get out of a relationship if someone keeps contacting you, Lyric emphasized the importance of blocking. “All my friends ask me, ‘Why do you block?’ In order for me to get over you [someone], in order for me to stop thinking about you, I have to block you. I cannot see what you’re doing…That’s a real part of getting over someone, and if a person is constantly contacting you, you have to block them out of your life.”
Realizing When It’s Okay To Let Go Of A Relationship
Kyla Hubbard, a True Star freelance writer, got on the live to talk about the importance of knowing when to end relationships, especially when you’re entering a new chapter in your life, such as college. “I’m going to college this week, and even in friendships, I’ve learned that I need to leave some people here in Chicago and that they really don’t need to be in my life… Now that I’m having this big transition in my life, it’s really hard to separate myself from people and it’s really hard to do that in relationships, too.”
Hubbard continued, “I was in a long term relationship with someone and I had to tell them, ‘You’re about to go to school and I don’t want to stress myself out knowing that you’re leaving.’”
Lyric and Hubbard urged everyone to start college without being in a relationship, no matter how harsh it might come off. “If you’re in a relationship before college, I advise you to leave that person alone. You don’t know what could happen… . You’re not giving yourself a fair chance to go out and explore and find new things and people.”
Lyric added, “Now you’re a young adult. You get to see new things, you get to hang out and do stuff you always wanted to do, but you were not old enough to do it.”
It can be difficult to end a relationship, and some people do stay with their high school sweethearts way after college, but if it isn’t meant to be, red flags will appear. Trust them, listen to them, and start this new chapter in your life fresh.
Avoiding/Noticing Dependency In A Relationship
True Star staffer Kelbe Nails spoke about one of the biggest failures to relationships: Depending on your significant other for happiness. “A lot of relationships fail because a lot of people start depending on one another for happiness and then it becomes unhealthy.”
People get into relationships thinking they will make them happy or allow them to stop feeling lonely, when in reality your relationship should amplify your happiness even more. It’s first about finding happiness within yourself and then bringing it into your relationship.
“You should prioritize your own growth, and support each other’s growth, so you can grow independently together.” -Kelbe Nails
Lyric dove into many other important dating topics with great guests. If you want to check it out go to our IG page here.
Make sure to keep updated with the TrueStar IG account for another informative Dating Matters live!
By Amaris Edwards, Freshman, Columbia College Chicago
Instagram: glamaris._
*This article is made possible by the support of Chicago Dating Matters Initiative. #DatingMattersChi
