Veronica Ruiz 
We’ve all heard the phrase, “Love is blind,” and it’s a hard pill to swallow. Love can literally make you blind to the ugly or toxic parts of your relationship. Letting a relationship be the number one priority in your life can take up too much time, and can have you losing sight of yourself. At the end of the day, this truly hurts one person—you. Here are some signs to let you know if you’ve gotten yourself in a mess.
You let your relationship affect your mood while you’re with others.
No one is happy when they’re arguing with their significant other, but if you find yourself taking your anger out on your friends and family that’s an issue. You should be able to go to your loved ones to vent or get advice about your situation with your boo instead of taking whatever issues out on them. But if you aren’t able to do that or separate the relationship issues from the rest of your life, this could be a pretty bad sign. It can even cause some of your loved ones to not want to be around you.
Every time your friends ask you to hang out, you “can’t”.
Everyone’s schedule is different, but if you aren’t able to spend any time with your friends because all of your free time is shared with your significant other, that’s an issue. When you get in a relationship it’s natural to want to spend every minute with them, but that doesn’t mean you actually need to. If every time your friends ask you to hang or if you haven’t talked to your friends in almost two months, that starts to become a huge issue. What can make it even worse is the only time you want to hang with your friends is if there is a problem in your relationship. Don’t do that.
You’re giving up some of your personal responsibilities/interests.
Your relationship should never be more important than your goals and aspirations. If all of a sudden you get in a relationship and stop doing things that were once really important to you you should probably reevaluate some things. Your dreams and goals shouldn’t seem like a “disturbance” now that you’re all boo’d up. Your whole existence should not be your relationship; you are a person outside of it. Don’t ever let a significant other become more than school or work. Think about what would happen if you guys decide to go your separate ways. This answer to that is you’ll be left trying to put together the pieces of the person you used to be.
If any of these situations sound familiar to you, the best thing to do is reevaluate your relationship and your priorities. Talk to your partner and don’t let these unhealthy ways continue to play a part in what you have. Take this as an opportunity to grow and actually find balance in your life, which should include your family, friendships, boo, and of course yourself.
By Veronica Ruiz, Senior, Lane Tech
Instagram: @v.eronicaruiz
